F-O-R-G-I-V-E-N-E-S-S / R-E-C-O-N-C-I-L-I-A-T-I-O-N (a list)

F-O-R-G-I-V-E-N-E-S-S

F - First, decide to begin the process of forgiveness.

O - Oppose the temptation to give up on forgiveness.

R - Remind yourself to list the things that forgiveness is NOT.*

G - Give the person who harmed you space and time.

I - Invest time and energy in learning more about forgiveness.

V - Vitalize your life with diversions from the hurt of being wronged.

E - Engage in the stables of life: eat, drink, sleep, exercise, think, study,
fellowship, worship, pray, work, play, and of course, love.

N - Never forget that forgiveness will benefit you more than the person you are
forgiving.

E - Expect things to get better.

S - Seek time for quiet reflection, alone or with others.

S - See what positive outcomes may have occurred from the experience.


*Forgiven is NOT...
1. Forgetting
2. Pretending that nothing wrong happened
3. Refusing to address the wrong
4. Excusing the wrong
5. Unhealthy
6. Pretending the wrong didn't matter
7. A single act, but rather a process that may take years.
8. Quick
9. Easy


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



R-E-C-O-N-C-I-L-I-A-T-I-O-N

R - Reconsider your viewpoint from the perspective of the person who disagrees
with you.

E - Evaluate your position by soliciting opinions from those who may be more
objective.

C - Consider listening more than talking.

O - Offer your information and opinions, whether written or spoken, with
kindness and courtesy.

N - Never engage in name-calling.

C - Continue to hope.

I - Investigate new ideas and fresh possibilities.

L - Live your life.

I - Insist on diverting your attention from the conflict to engage in positive, healing
activities for yourself and others.

A - Assertiveness is still likely to be a wise and useful tool.

T - Tell others about this experience.

I - Invest in the experience by listing all the learnings you have gained.

O - Open yourself to the possibility that there may never be any reconciliation.

N - Never resort to retaliation.



Leonard Nolt

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